You may as well just split my heart!

Ok I am going to do some major VENTING here so please don't feel like you have to read this #1 and also please realize that most likely the way I am feeling right now will change within the next couple of months (that is what I keep telling myself to keep myself sane.)

So a couple of weeks ago they announced in Church that there was going to be a ward reorganizing fireside. Since our ward split a little over a year ago and we seemed to be a pretty good size I couldn't help but think oh maybe we will take in the "Wright Homes" Which is a sub-division right next to ours. I wasn't too worried and there had been very little talk about anything happening (where as when our ward split before it had been all anyone talked about for months prior.)

We missed the fireside because we were driving home from Vegas but I had a few of my friends texting me what was happening. When my friend Jeni texted me that our street was no longer in the Rose Creek Crossing ward and that we would be apart of a new ward I didn't believe her. Then I got the same text from my friend Becki, now both Chris and I were FREAKING out...to put it mildly. Through texts I found out literally our street and one other from our entire neighborhood were put in with the new ward. My heart sank. For the first time in my married life I loved a ward. I could honestly say I loved everyone in it, I loved knowing my neighbors and feeling like Lydia had cute friends and she adored Nursery and her nursery teachers. To say the least I was HEART BROKEN. I seriously couldn't shake the feeling that it was going to feel like being the "new guys" in a ward where everyone else lived in the same neighborhood and had been in the same ward since they had lived in their neighborhoods, and then along came us... the "outcasts" as I always tell Chris we are (ha ha ha!)

Anyways I have had a flood of emotions over the past week. I saw the ward list and realized that I knew quite a few of the mom's who had daughter's at the studio which made me feel a little bit better until I talked to one of the mom's who made it clear she wasn't very excited about the split and how sad she was (yes I realize that they are sad too, which makes this split make even less sense.)

Then came the realization that I was released, I absolutely loved my calling. I will say that after I had Audrey it became more and more difficult for several reasons. Audrey stopped taking a bottle over the Christmas break (yes it is totally my fault and I am mad at myself for letting it happen.) So at Church Chris was stressed out, and so was I that she would get hungry and I would have to disrupt singing time (which I know isn't that big of a deal but it was constantly on my mind) I also loved my calling because I felt like I knew almost all the kids and all the families and who are we kidding I love the pianist, we have become very good friends due to having our callings together. Anyways when I realized I was released I saw it as an opportunity to possibly get to know some of the new people that we would be in a ward with, and a chance to take some stress off of both Chris and I at church as far as feeding Audrey goes.

Well to say the least I got a new calling I am the 2nd counselor in the Primary Presidency. WWWWHHHHHHAAAATTTT!!!!!!!!! Who are we kidding I'm not qualified for that, I feel so in adequate and just hope that I can truly fulfill this calling. I am excited to be serving with the ladies in the new ward but truly miss the old presidency and my old friends so much.

Also on a side note Lydia HATED nursery, which has never happened in the 18 months she has been in there. #1 she was by far the oldest kid in there, #2 Chris walked in and some kid was totally picking on her, #3 she didn't know ANYONE....yes I am becoming that parents that I just want to protect her. I got home and I bawled more for her then for me. I can not stand seeing my child unhappy. Yes I know it will get better, Yes I will request to have her put in one of the other nursery's with older kids, Yes it will be good for Lydia to learn to defend herself a little (at least that's what Chris tells me) But who are we kidding I am a girl and I am still sad about it.

Anyways overall I know that everything is going to be ok. I really like our new bishop, and brother Neidert from our old ward is the 2nd counselor which is nice to see a familiar face up on the stand. I also feel a much deeper connection with the people on my street who are going through something very similar (I bet they are being much more mature than me though, and taking it in stride...yes I am a total baby) I actually felt very proud to hear the callings that the Chatel folks got, and to see how amazing the people we live by really are! I am also hoping that I will be able to make new friendships, I am going to try my hardest to stay positive. But also to all my friends in the Rose Creek Crossing ward...DON"T FORGET ABOUT US! We still want to be friends with all of you, and maybe it will be like Chris said, now that we don't have the excuse "Oh we will see them at church." Maybe we will make a better effort to plan things with our neighbors out side of church.

So anyways if you read this please know it is a vent, something I needed to get out and then get over because who are we kidding I know everything is going to be ok...it is just going to take time, and a positive attitude.